Birthing From Within

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, book reviews, health, stillbirth/pregnancy loss Add comments

When I was pregnant with Benjamin I borrowed our local ICAN library’s “Birthing From Within.” It looked interesting, although I had never heard of it before. Actually, natural birth books were entirely new to me as I didn’t know anyone who was pregnant or had children when I got pregnant the first time and then went into labor at 26 weeks, again at 28 weeks, again at 30 weeks, and had a c-section at 32 weeks for fetal decels (and of course was railroaded into more c-sections later.)

For those of you who don’t know, it’s not just a book about natural birthing. It is more so a book about discovering one’s self, your inner most thoughts and feelings about birth. I found that largely, it was a therapeutic book on acknowledging one’s fears and pain from previous deliveries or other traumatic experiences and healing in those areas, so one can embrace a new pregnancy and delivery with fresh excitement and peace. A journey untainted by previous experiences, only aided by them.

I certainly found the book a healing BEGINNING. I was still planning my VBA4C and read so many other books as well and was really doing well emotionally/mentally. But then tragedy struck and I was once again in need of healing. I ordered Birthing From Within when I ordered some books for my girls on stillbirth. Then before I started it, my sister was faced with some pretty serious issues with her OB so I loaned her Birthing From Within in hopes that she would avoid a c-section with her third pregnancy. She gave it back to me last night and I skimmed the first chapter.

The first activity has you journal your thoughts on pregnancy and delivery. These were the first thoughts that came to me- Death. Pain. Empty Arms. Tears. Grief.

Wow. OK. So I guess it’s time to re-read it. Hopefully by the time I finish it (along with the journaling and other birth art that will come through reading it) my first thoughts will have transformed. Certainly I cannot be a doula/midwife while I have such feelings predominating my feelings of pregnancy and birth. It’s time for a rebirthing of myself, so when (if) I do have another baby it will come from a place of wholeness and light, as truly all births begin from within, wither one acknowledges it or not.

One Response to “Birthing From Within”

  1. Welcome to my microcosm » Blog Archive » healing and empowerment Says:

    […] Back in November I was suffering the loss of my much desired set of twins. I discovered that for me, pregnancy and birth brought the words death, pain, tears, empty arms, grief, as I posted here. […]

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