The Silent Ride

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Uncategorized Add comments

On our way home from the hospital, it was so quiet. There was no happy chatter, no crying baby, no stops for diaper change or breastfeeding. There was complete and total silence.

I had another such ride yesterday. My husband has been sick since his appendectomy in Oct. He was sick and miserable at all my midwife apts and both times I went into labor. He’s seen by so many drs and had so many tests. And finally, we know what is wrong.

He had a colonoscopy yesterday to see if he was nicked during the appendectomy. It was a 15 minute procedure that took an hour. They finally called me back there and the dr came to speak with us. His face was pained. “I’m very sorry, this was not what I expected. It’s so rare. Not in men your age, I’ve only seen two cases.”

The dr said there’s a greater then 95% probability that he has cancer. We should know in the next couple of days.

My husband didn’t quite understand, and asked about his vacation. When the dr left I showed him the photos and the report and explained everything the dr said. Tears ran down his face.

My 30th birthday is Sunday. That is also Benjamin’s 6 month angelversary. And now I feel like I am morning the loss of my husband. Is that silly? Premature? I don’t know. But it’s not a happy birthday.

And again our ride home was silent. Completely and totally silent.

One Response to “The Silent Ride”

  1. Welcome to my microcosm » Blog Archive » Ugh….not again Says:

    […] little background, with links to the blog posts in the highlighted phrases. On Sept 2, 2009, just a few months after our son died, Paul had a colonoscopy looking for the cause of his […]

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