My sister’s dream

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Sovereignty of God, stillbirth/pregnancy loss No Comments »

We are dreamers, always have been. She doesn’t know it, but I’ve been working on a book, a book without a name. Names are hard to decide on- you want something simple and self explanatory but memorable in a very nice way. She also doesn’t know that I have felt very strongly for years that I would be a public speaker. God has gifted me in this area, and I knew one day He would use it for His glory.

Well, my sister called me a little while ago with her dream from last night (which was Benjamin’s 9 month birthday.) I was standing on a stage speaking, and I had written a book. She remembers details, like my new hair cut, clothes and glasses. Beside me was a sign that had a pretty water color painting of a woman in a rockingchair looking through a window. The sign read “Loss and Gain: A Mother’s Story.”  Sitting in front of her was a man (She didn’t notice if it was Paul) and our 4 girls (older) and a little girl about 4-5 and a little boy about 2-3.  He had platinum blond hair and brown eyes (my husband did when he was young.) He wore long light blue shorts and a matching vest and white dress shirt.

So, now I have a title for my book.  🙂  She said I can use it so here’s my official claim to it.  Copyright 12/9/2009.

The Circle

Posted by: Sarah Trost in book reviews, Uncategorized No Comments »

I have been reading a series of books over the last couple of years.  It’s now totaled to 15 books, but they are grouped in smaller series divisions.  Here’s a ‘trailor’ for ‘Book Zero” Green , it somewhat describes the other books as well.  I wouldn’t read Green first, though.  Read the Circle Trilogy Black, Red, White (I think that’s the order, there is one big book that has all three together.) The end of Green is the beginning of the trilogy, that is true, but it would be confusing and give too much away if you read Green first.  You can likely get them from the library, too (I did, although I had to get some of them from other libraries but they send them to your chosen library.)

Basically it’s a fantasy series kind of like LOTR and C of N.  Thomas Hunter wakes up in a beautiful world where the animals speak and the people follow the Great Romance as they woo each other and swim in Elyon’s waters at the Gathering, celebrating life and love in Elyon.  They are friends of the Roush, fluffy white bat like creatures who are as cuddly as they are noble and courageous.  The humans’ leader, Tanis, is deceived by the Shataiki- the black and evil counterparts to the Roush.  Their world falls into Black as the Shataiki are released from the Dark Forest to ravage the Colored Forests.  Tanis and those who follow him now worship Telah, the ruler of the Shataiki, instead of Elyon. Their flesh is eaten by the Disease making them Scabs, creating a new race called the Horde who make it their mission to destroy all those who love Elyon and bathe in the lakes to fight the disease which tries to overtake their flesh as well.

Meanwhile Present Earth is under threat of the Raison Strain, a virus that began as a vaccine and mutated into something that was sure to destroy all human kind.  Thomas Hunter races the clock as he tries to save both worlds, jumping back and forth between them each time he goes to sleep.

As I said there’s also The Lost Books  and the Paradise Novels.   The Lost Books are about the characters in the future Earth and the Paradise novels are about the characters in the present Earth and how they affected Future Earth. Definitely read the Circle Trilogy first.

When I read Ted Dekker’s books in this series I feel like a hole opens up and I drop into this other world.  The characters are so rich and as realistic as one can get in a fantasy realm.

Birthing From Within

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, book reviews, health, stillbirth/pregnancy loss 1 Comment »

When I was pregnant with Benjamin I borrowed our local ICAN library’s “Birthing From Within.” It looked interesting, although I had never heard of it before. Actually, natural birth books were entirely new to me as I didn’t know anyone who was pregnant or had children when I got pregnant the first time and then went into labor at 26 weeks, again at 28 weeks, again at 30 weeks, and had a c-section at 32 weeks for fetal decels (and of course was railroaded into more c-sections later.)

For those of you who don’t know, it’s not just a book about natural birthing. It is more so a book about discovering one’s self, your inner most thoughts and feelings about birth. I found that largely, it was a therapeutic book on acknowledging one’s fears and pain from previous deliveries or other traumatic experiences and healing in those areas, so one can embrace a new pregnancy and delivery with fresh excitement and peace. A journey untainted by previous experiences, only aided by them.

I certainly found the book a healing BEGINNING. I was still planning my VBA4C and read so many other books as well and was really doing well emotionally/mentally. But then tragedy struck and I was once again in need of healing. I ordered Birthing From Within when I ordered some books for my girls on stillbirth. Then before I started it, my sister was faced with some pretty serious issues with her OB so I loaned her Birthing From Within in hopes that she would avoid a c-section with her third pregnancy. She gave it back to me last night and I skimmed the first chapter.

The first activity has you journal your thoughts on pregnancy and delivery. These were the first thoughts that came to me- Death. Pain. Empty Arms. Tears. Grief.

Wow. OK. So I guess it’s time to re-read it. Hopefully by the time I finish it (along with the journaling and other birth art that will come through reading it) my first thoughts will have transformed. Certainly I cannot be a doula/midwife while I have such feelings predominating my feelings of pregnancy and birth. It’s time for a rebirthing of myself, so when (if) I do have another baby it will come from a place of wholeness and light, as truly all births begin from within, wither one acknowledges it or not.