Breathing and blessing

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, doctrine and Biblical truths, Family, Sovereignty of God, stillbirth/pregnancy loss, Submission, Uncategorized No Comments »

Things are getting better. When you take a breath, you take in life, for without breath there is no life. Life is a gift. God is to be blessed for all His marvelous gifts, even when we don’t see a trial as a gift.

For most people, the death of a child causes such a strain that they divorce within a year. I don’t see that as happening with us. Our relationship is stronger then it has ever been. I feel that trials have worked much meekness in me, and I’m sure that helps! I’ve been enjoying Nancy Leigh Demoss’s series on Meekness. I find it so encouraging and hope that women really take the series to heart. Although, as she pointed out, you can’t become meek by will power! Meekness is, well, a gift worked out in you as you are buffed in the rock tumbler. Gems only become gems after a great deal of buffing!

So I inhale and exhale and bless God for my life, and the life of my son. No, he is not living here with me, but he does have life, and as the Scriptures say, life more abundantly! Praise God for His mercy and grace!

He gives and takes away, blessed be His name!

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, doctrine and Biblical truths, Family, QF, Sovereignty of God, stillbirth/pregnancy loss No Comments »

In response to this blog

I really enjoyed what you wrote! I found it in trying to sustain my argument that in fact God DOES give and take away. So often people have trouble with the taking away part. I really need to blog about this myself, but I have such a hard time finding blog time.

“How arrogant we (me the worst of all) sometimes get. Thinking that God is totally consumed with our individualistic wants and “needs.” I, as a rule, think we as Americans are pretty stupid and believe we need much more than we actually do. For me to think that because of my faith God gives me more than others is a little slippery. Financial and physical blessing is not the best indicator of faith.”

YES!! I can’t hold the attitude “Why me?” The very question “Why me?” is so arrogant! I am a sinner, deserving of hell, no less. I do not deserve the many blessings in my life. Yes, I have nearly died several times. Yes, I have lost children, I have been raped, my grandparents died when I was a young child, my parents are dying far too young….and my surviving children have autism. But I am not so haughty to think that for some reason I am above tragedy. OR should be above it. God is mighty and sovereign, and I live in a fallen and imperfect world. The Bible is also clear that we are to BLESS GOD for His will in our lives, INCLUDING trials and calamities. How can we do that? Well, if we will stop taking our eyes off of ME, MYSELF AND I, and look at the bigger picture, we will always see God working, transforming tragedy into blessing, beauty from ashes.

“I will land this plane by giving some personal examples. I have known several God-fearing, H.S. baptized, faith-filled couples who have struggled with multiple miscairrages in their lives after believing for YEARS to have children. Certain people have had the nerve to suggest it was because of their lack of faith. (Lucky for them it wasn’t in my presence or it may have resulted in a fist in their mouth)

I have prayed with total reprobate sinners who dishonor God and seen them get healed from things as small as headaches, to legs growing out. ”

Again, yes and amen! My dad has had cancer since I was a child. He is still alive, but struggling very much with pain. He went through a period of time where he went to Benny Hinn and other faith healers and claimed to all that he IS healed. He believed with all his heart that he was healed, and this was after a friend of ours died of cancer, also claiming that there was NO cancer! They had all the faith, all the right prayers, and lived a Godly life. But it wasn’t enough. Why not? Because it was not in God’s will. Yet, he is still alive, with cancer but very much alive, so many years after she died. A good friend of mine died last year very suddenly of a cancer she didn’t know she had, leaving behind a husband, a newborn and four other young children. So again it shows that God’s will is very specific. While my friend was dying I couldn’t go see her because I had sick children but I would talk to her on the phone and she was always full of faith and strength. To God be the glory! It was an inspiration to talk to this woman who knew she would very possibly not be miraculously healed, and yet rejoiced because her faith in God was so strong.

Back to your analogy of faith filled couples having multiple miscarriages- Last year God led us to trust HIM in “our” family planning, that He is the perfect planner! We already had 4 beautiful little girls and hoped and prayed that in our obedience to Him, He would give us a son…perhaps even twins! I know, I was crazy in thinking that LOL but that was a desire (I believe God placed.) I was pregnant in May 2008 and we had a freak accident in our 2008 Ford 12 passenger van. We hit a tree and the van rolled. The van was very squashed and it was amazing that we made it out without any injuries (only slight cuts from the windows when they pulled us out since the van was still upside down. For pics and the full story read this.

Well, as is common, following the accident I miscarried. Our first “let God have control” baby was gone. I got pregnant soon after. I felt like it was twins but didn’t say anything. My then 5 YO daughter said it was twins and I hoped she was right. We had our first ultrasound, and there were two sacks! It was too early to be sure about the babies, but definitely there were two sacks. Four weeks later they couldn’t find even ONE heartbeat at my OB apt, so off to the U/S room I went. By myself. That seemed to be the longest hour of my life, waiting to see if my babies were alive or gone to be with Jesus. With having three previous miscarriages you might think I’d grown accustomed to such losses but I hadn’t. I wasn’t worried or upset, but certainly prayed the whole time. There was one strong heart beat! We rejoiced, but were saddened to have lost another child.

And then, at 40 weeks gestation, we lost the other one. One cannot come remotely close to describing how it feels to have a stillbirth. Yet, as I held my beautiful little boy in my arms, my first thoughts were of PRAISE! Yes, I was praising God for my son. I miss him terribly, but am thankful for the time I had with him. Many people try to convince me that this was NOT God’s will that God DOESN’T take life, especially not that of babies. We have a free will therefore we have the power to give and take life. How selfish and godlike we can make ourselves!

I don’t understand why, when I gave my womb and my heart to God, He gave me three dead babies. It doesn’t make sense to me. But God just doesn’t operate in this finite human reasoning. And I am certainly not above such tragedy, as I have stated before.

You might be interested in this family, who lost their son AND their daughter and yet still have faith that God is in control.

May you have peace, love, and live in His Eternal Light

sign the petition!

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, Today in the News No Comments »

Medicaid no longer wants to pay for birthcenters! While I am not on Medicaid nor can I use a birth center, this is an important issue facing many women! Read other messages like mine or sign the petition.

I had preterm labor with my first child and although it was stopped, they did so many unnecessary interventions which caused the early delivery of my child four weeks later via c-section. If I was under the care of midwives in a birthing center things wouldn’t have happened the way they did. My water would not have been broken by a dr at 30 weeks, I would not have had a surgical delivery, and my baby would not have spent 2 weeks in the NICU. Not only did this have lasting affects (and prevent me from having a birth center delivery in the future because of my now scarred uterus) but it cost the state a whole lot more then it should have! Please reconsider keeping birth centers on the provider list- they provide better births, lower c-section rates, and will save the state money. In fact, in low risk pregnancies I feel it should be required that all medicaid patients see a midwife, as they do in the UK.

Sincerely,
Sarah Trost

babies everywhere

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, stillbirth/pregnancy loss, Uncategorized No Comments »

Right after I had Benjamin I had a WIC apt. There aren’t usually more then two babies there and not usually brand new ones. I wasn’t worried. But this time the room was PACKED with women ALL with BRAND NEW BABY BOYS!!! Most of them were teens, too. It was so hard. I was just a wreck. It took every bone in my body to not stand up and say “My baby just died. If any of you don’t want yours, I’d be happy to take him.” When the nutritionist found out that my baby had died she felt awful about the fourty minutes or more I was forced to sit with all those newborn boys. She offered me to stay in the back while they finished my stuff up.

I don’t hate pregnant women, but when they complain I want to shake them. No, I want to choke them. It infuriates me. When they talk about wanting the baby to be born NOW I tell them they should cherish EVERY MOMENT. Life is fragile. That’s all the time I had with Benjamin, when he was inside of me. I would do absolutely anything to have him inside me again. I want to run up to every pregnant woman and tell her “I know that you think one day soon you will have a little squirming baby in your arms. But that day may never come. You may never see a smiling face or open eyes. So enjoy each kick and each movement because it may be all that you have. DON’T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. Don’t think that just because you are past 12 weeks you aren’t likely to loose your baby. Don’t think that at 26 weeks you now have a viable baby. Don’t think at 36/37 weeks the baby wouldn’t be in the NICU. Because YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE A LIVING, BREATHING BABY AT ALL! You may end up with an empty bed.

new life

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, Family, QF, stillbirth/pregnancy loss No Comments »

A friend of mine just had a baby two days ago. I went to see her. I needed to- she was attempting a home VBAC and lost heart tones and rushed to the hospital and had an emergency c-section. I know how she felt going through what she went through, especially how the hospital treated her. I went through it in March. I knew that I needed to be there for her. Even though she still has her baby (praise God!) she still has some grieving to work through. This was her fourth c-section and although she would like more children, she is afraid of having more sections. I’ve had 5, I understand completely.

Anyway, I was glad she had a girl because it made it easier for me to be there for her. But this was the first time I had been in a hospital since Benjamin. I walked in and the smell…the hospital smell almost brought me to tears. When I passed by the nursery I stopped to look at the babies and they were wrapped up in the blanket the funeral home had used. I had asked them to remove the blanket and gave them something nicer. But seeing that blanket wrapped around those newborn babies took my breath away. A sob caught in my throat and I quickly moved away. I wanted to take the time to grieve, but I wanted to be strong for my friend too. I wondered what the nurses thought when they looked up and saw the stranger in the window wasn’t smiling but crying.

When I was in her room they brought the baby to her and LEFT HER AT THE FOOT OF HER BED. My friend couldn’t get her, and so I asked her if she’d like be to bring her. She did, and so for the first time since Benjamin, I held a baby. She had fat cheeks like Benjamin did. She was big, almost 9 pounds. He was almost 10 pounds. Of course I had to talk about him. I tried not to, because this is her day and I didn’t want to steal any joy she had. Another lady from our VBAC group came and you could tell whenever I mentioned Benjamin she tried to change the subject. She didn’t make eye contact with me, didn’t hug me, barely acknowledged me. I wanted to shout “I AM HERE! It’s OK to talk about my baby. I WANT to talk about my baby. ASK ME about him! Ask me if I have pictures, because I do! LOTS of pictures, always with me. He is my son. Please stop pretending that he doesn’t matter. He’s still alive, just not in my arms. Acknowledge him. I need you to acknowledge him, not push him out of thoughts and conversation. I can’t forget him, how can you?”

because I haven’t the strength

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, doctrine and Biblical truths, Family, QF, Sovereignty of God, stillbirth/pregnancy loss, Submission No Comments »

I keep wanting to update here but I just can’t seem to do it. So, I’ll let my husband do it for me. Here’s his blog
We all appreciate your prayers.

Sarah

He’s Gone, and I’m Empty

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, QF, Sovereignty of God, stillbirth/pregnancy loss No Comments »

It was so hard, putting my beautiful little boy in the ground. I couldn’t do
it. I kissed him and walked away. I couldn’t even bear to see them close the
casket.

I never once complained about being pregnant. This was my easiest pregnancy.
The end was difficult and I couldn’t wait for it to be over NOT because I was
tired of being pregnant but because of the on and off labor where I never knew if it was
‘it’ or not. And at the end when I felt I was dying, well it’s because I was. I was dying and to save my life Benjamin had to go. Sadly I wasn’t diagnosed until it was too late, and now he’s gone and nothing will bring him back.

But the pregnant part…I cherished it. He was huge- 9 lbs 9 oz and I’m only
5’3″. It was hard for me to sleep and I was loosing weight as he was gaining (I
have lost 30 lbs in the last week, some from baby weight and some because I haven’t been eating.) But I loved every moment with him. Every movement, even though he woke me each morning at 4:30. Every kick, even when I wondered if my rib would crack. Each day, many times a day, I ascertained where his head, back, knees and legs were, to make sure he was in the right birthing position. And when he started to turn I’d gently move him back. I wanted to give him the best possible chance at birth, so that he wouldn’t be cut out of me like his sisters were for breech presentation. And at the end, he was in the perfect position to be born. But it didn’t matter, because he was dead.

I lost three babies this past year. I had an apparent miscarriage when we had
the accident in May, and then I lost Benjamin’s twin and now him. I admit, it’s
frustrating. The Duggars became QF and their first QF blessing was twin boys!
We became QF and we lost one and THEN twins. But this has not changed our
desire to be obedient to the Lord and we fervently pray that God blesses us with
twin boys in a few months.

I am in anguish, though, as I miss him. I miss him moving inside of me. I miss talking to him and him responding. I miss my anticipation of his arrival and making plans. I miss not getting to breast feed him, especially in the morning when I wake and he’s not lying next to me, nor is he inside of me. He’s not here. I miss Kailey telling him each night “Good night Benjamin” and him kicking his reply. His sisters loved him, and he loved his sisters. Everyone looked forward to finally seeing his sweet face and holding him and playing with him.

But he’s gone.

a new baby!

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, Family, QF, Sovereignty of God, Uncategorized No Comments »

This is our first truly QF baby.  We had been using NFP but I was still nursing and my fertility signs were very inconsistent.  After two months of abstaining to avoid conception (which is not only unbiblical but unhealthy for a marriage) we came together the way the Creator of the Great Romance meant for husband and wife, and I concieved the very next day!  So during that pregnancy (2006/2007) we really began searching the Scriptures and although we had never heard of the Quiverfull movement, were moved that we were to trust God’s soveriegnty in all things, including childbirth, and that we should give our fertility (at the time, 4 children in 4 1/2 years was certainly fertile!) over to God.  We should ask Him to control EVERY area of our lives, and who better to trust with our family then the Lord?

In my research I stumbled upon a pagan website bashing a group called Quiverfull.  I went to the site and did some other searching (the Internet is such a marvelous invention.)  I was so excited to know that not only did other people feel the same way we did, there was actually a movement!  God is working mightily in His people.

So, this, our fifth, was our first baby concieved without any concern wither I would get pregnant.  It was so liberating to TRUST GOD!  Like with #2,3,4 I knew I was pregnant before I cold even take a test.  Paul suggested I not take a test and just wait and when I feel the baby move I’ll know I’m pregnant.  LOL  Well, given that I am now 17 weeks and still haven’t felt distinct movements I’m really glad I didn’t take his advice.

I was sicker in this pregnancy then I was with the others and noticed my uterus growing faster then normal.  I wondered if I was having twins.  My 5 YO started talking about twins.  So when I had my U/S at 6 weeks and the tech said it looked like twins, I wasn’t surprised!  But then she said she couldn’t find the other baby (just a sac.)  A 10 week ultrasound again revealed only one baby.  I have another scheduled next week so we’ll see.  I’ll upload ultrasound pics next week.

Blessings to all.

Sarah

song of an unborn child

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, doctrine and Biblical truths No Comments »

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=190653418

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Aspies, Being Mommy, Family No Comments »

Ever since Baby Joy had her six month shots she’s been sick. She was sick following her four month shots, but she did recover. This time she had the flu shot as well, but I only let them give half of the other vaccines and said I would return in a month for the other half of the flu shot and the rest of the vaccinations.

Well, she got very sick that night and was sick for at least 72 hours (as opposed to the usual 24-48.) She was OK for one day and then got sick again (another set of symptoms.) I took her to the DR when she didn’t get better and they said she had the flu. They denied it was caused by the vaccine. A few days later she broke out in a rash all over her body. They started blistering. It was Saturday now so I didn’t take her to the DR, but by Monday she was better. She had two days of wellness, then got sick again. I did take her to the DR who again said it had nothing to do with the shots and sent us home (but tried to convince me to give the other half the flu shot and the rest of the missing vaccines even though she was sick!)

Now she has a virus- fever for four days and hasn’t slept. yesterday she was up 12 hours even though she had a poor night’s sleep previously. And I am so exhausted and sore and just want to sleep! Of course I refused that second series of shots and am finding a new pediatrician. That one is too far and too expensive and doesn’t have hospital privileges anyway. My plan is to not give her the vaccines anymore until perhaps two years old. That’s not going to go over too well I’m afraid.

Love in all things

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, Family No Comments »

I just thought I’d post the little things Faith (4) has done this past week.

We went to Dollar General and she saw a little old lady and ran to her and hugged her.  The old woman was so touched and said she loves children, she has 14 great grandchildren!

We went to Mcdonald’s and she hugged the old old woman who works there cleaning the tables and floor.  “Miss Mary!  How are you?”

At the pool she told a woman that her little boy is an excellent swimmer, introduced herself, and asked the woman how her day has been.

At the pool she went up behind an old man sitting in the water playing with his grandchildren, and gleefully sprayed water all over him.  Repeatedly.  Horrified, I told her to stop but he was delighted.

At the resale shop yesterday, she was talking to a woman and gave her a hug and congratulated her that her grandsons are turning four this weekend.

At a birthday party a friend of mine’s sister showed her how to make this neat toy work and she happily nestled her head in Michelle’s lap in thankfulness.

I’m sure there have been many more times where she blessed someone with her openness and sweet disposition.  I do caution her to not be so familiar with strangers, but I don’t want her to be afraid either.  Does this mean I will leave her alone at a park while I run to the bathroom?  Well, no.  But I don’t think telling her “Never talk to strangers” is the right strategy either.

I know that we all have different opinions on how to raise our children and what is the best way to protect them.  We can only be the best that we know how to be. But I encourage all parents to seek the Lord and not just rely on your own understating.  Acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths!

Bless and be blessed,
S

10 things I’m asked the most, and how I’d love to respond

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, Family, QF No Comments »

1) Are they all yours?

A: No, I just love to go grocery shopping with four children ages four and under.  There’s nothing like the challenge of keeping everyone happy and cooperative while attempting to get everything on my list and everything I forgot to put on my list.  Don’t forget the process of loading all in their carseats, unloading them, walking to the store without getting squished by the cars, getting through the checkout line, back through the parking lot, and loaded back into the carseats, only to be unloaded again at home (and then unlaoding the groceries and getting them up the LOOOOONG walkway and into the house and into the fridge all while trying to keep the children from hurting each other and the baby from crying.  Oh yeah, I’m training for “Survivor!!!”

2) You have your hands full!

A-Not really,you should see me cooking dinner with a baby on my hip, my skirt pulled to my ankles because my 2 YO is pulling on it, and my 3 and 4 YOs screaming that so and so took such and such.  THEN my hands are full.  Right now they are just pushing a cart.

3)  Are you trying for a boy?

A- We are a part of a scientific study to see if all the old wives tales about gender are true.  As of yet we have not tried to have a boy, because we are still doing the girls’ studies, but hopefully in the next four years or so they will let us know it’s time for the boy studies.

4) Are you done yet?

A-  Well, I still have a lot more eggs and sperm available, so I don’t think so.

5) How many children do you WANT?!

A- The guiness book of world records is 22 children.  At the rate I am going I could have at least 24 before menopause!

6) (to my four year old) Are you not in school today?

A- no, we don’t believe in the confines of an education.  We believe that a child is at his best exploring his environment through play and we don’t want to squash that by teaching them things like how to read the alphabet and count.

7)They are so well behaved!

A- while I love to hear this it makes me wonder what it is that I am doing wrong at home! “Thank you.  I take parenting advice from nursery rhymes.  Remember the old woman who lived in a shoe and had so many children she didn’t know what to do?”

8) Are they twins/triplets?  They all look just exactly alike!

A- Why yes, the oldest three are triplets but were born a year apart from each other.  I know, it’s hard to tell them apart, since they all have blue eyes (which is almost their only similar feature.)

9) You need to get a hobby!

A- Oh, we have a very nice hobby, and it burns calories too!

10) You do know what causes that, don’t you?

A- cock the head and very seriously reply “no, I don’t.  Could you please explain it to me?”

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, Family, Home, QF No Comments »

I so enjoyed this blog written by a QF homeschholing preacher’s wife!

child activated ADD

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy No Comments »

Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D. Child Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the laundry room, I notice that
there are cheerios all over the floor and my car keys are in the cereal bowl. I
decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I toss my keys in the cabinet to prevent the kids from taking off with them, put the cheerios in the trash can, and
notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to take out the trash.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the
trash I may as well mail payments for some things I ordered online. I take my checkbook off the computer desk, and see that there is only one check left, my extra checks are in my bedroom. On my way to the bedroom I find a sippy cup full of
juice. I’m going to look for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy
cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with
the sippy cup my roses on the counter catches my eye — > they need
to be watered. I set the sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes
that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back in
the bathroom, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the wipes back down, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot
the TV remote, I must have left it on the kitchen table. I realize that
after bedtime hubby will want the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the living room where it belongs, but first I’ll water
the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So,
I set the remote back down, get some paper towels and wipe up the spill. Then
I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the laundry isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid,
there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t watered,
there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can’t find the remote, I
can’t find the wipes, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled
because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail.

ADAPTED FROM INTERNET FORWARD

being a housewife

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, Home, Homeschooling, Submission No Comments »

Great article from John Calvin on being a housewife!

And if men say, “What is this? A woman playeth the housewife, she spinneth on her distaff, and this is all that women can do.” As in deed there are a number of fools that when they speak of women’s distaffs, of seeing to their children, will make a scorn of it, and despise it. But what then? What saith the heavenly Judge? That he is well pleased with it, and accepteth of it, and putteth it in his reckoning. So then let women learn to rejoice when they do their duty, and though the world despise it, let this comfort sweeten all respect they might have that way, and say, “God seeth me here, and his Angels, who are sufficient witnesses of my doings, although the world do not allow of them.”

article on current birth rate crisis

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy No Comments »

I guess I can tell people I’m trying to help the world’s economy. Of course, I’m not sure how well a family of autistics will boost the economy. hehe Perhaps I’ll have another Gates. Who knows.

http://www.hoover.org/publications/policyreview/3431156.html

This article tackles the issues that have encouraged a lower birth rate, such as feminism, women in the work force, birth control, abortion, and woman encouraged to wait for marriage and children until after their education is completed and they start their careers. Then they feel that continuing to work is necessary even after having children, and therefore having fewer children because of child care and other drains on resources children can be particularly if the mother works outside the home. There is an interesting little bit towards the end about genetic engineering and the possibility of a genetic based hierarchy. The article is quite long, so I copied and pasted segments in case you’d like to read it in bites.

“For a modern nation to replace its population, experts explain, the average woman needs to have 2.1 children over the course of her lifetime. Not a single industrialized nation today has a fertility rate of 2.1, and most are well below replacement level.” PEople think we are over populated but the world really isn’t overpopulated, it’s that there aren’t enough people/countries producing and governments are witholding resources from the general people.”

“The United Nations estimates that by 2050, 42 percent of all people in Italy and Japan will be aged 60 or older. ( By 2050 US seniors are expected to be 25%, and that’s assuming that the birth rate doesn’t decrease.) Historically, the aged have made up only a small portion of society, and the rearing of children has been the chief concern. Now children will become a small minority, and society’s central problem will be caring for the elderly. Yet even this assumes that societies consisting of elderly citizens at levels of 20, 30, even 40 or more percent can sustain themselves at all. That is not obvious.”

“To support the ever-growing numbers of elderly, governments may raise taxes on younger workers. That would make children even less affordable than they are today, decreasing the size of future generations still further.”If worldwide fertility rates reach levels now common in the developing world (and that is where they seem headed), within a few centuries, the world’s population could shrink below the level of America’s today. “In 1955, at the height of the baby boom, a typical one-earner family paid 17.3 percent of its income in taxes. Today, a median family with one paycheck pays 37.6 percent of its income in taxes — 39 percent if it’s a two-earner couple. So the new demography has put us into an economic trap. High taxes depress birth rates, but low taxes expand demographically driven deficits still further.”

This was humorous- “Longman’s greatest fear is a revival of fundamentalism, which he defines broadly as any movement that relies on ancient myth and legend, whether religious or not, “to oppose modern, liberal, and commercial values.” Religious traditionalists tend to have large families (relatively speaking). Secular modernists do not. Longman’s fear is that, over time, Western secular liberals will shrink as a portion of world population while, at home and abroad, traditionalists will flourish.”

“With talk of artificial wombs and the end of the family, we are a long way from the idea of a conservative religious revival. The truth is, the possibility of a population crisis simultaneously raises the prospect of conservative revival and eugenic nightmare. In his landmark book on Western family decline, Disturbing the Nest, sociologist David Popenoe traces out contrasting ideal-typical scenarios by which the Western family might be either strengthened or further eroded. Looking at these scenarios, it’s evident that a population crisis could trigger either one.
What could reverse the decline of the Western nuclear family? Anything that might counter the affluence, secularism, and individualism that led to family decline in the first place, says Popenoe. Economic decline could force people to depend on families instead of the state. A religious revival could restore traditional mores. And a revised calculation of rational interest in light of social chaos could call the benefits of extreme individualism into question. We’ve already seen that a demographic-economic crisis could invoke all three of these mechanisms.
But what about the reverse scenario, in which the nuclear family would entirely disappear? According to Popenoe, the end of the nuclear family would come through a further development of our growing tendency to separate pair-bonding from sex and procreation. Especially in Europe, marriage is morphing into parental cohabitation. And in societies where parents commonly cohabit, the practice of “living alone together” is emerging. There unmarried parents remain “together” yet live in separate households, only one of them with a child. And of course, intentional single motherhood by older unmarried women — Murphy Brown-style — is another dramatic repudiation of the nuclear family. The next logical step in all this would be for single mothers to turn their children over to some other individual or group for rearing. That would spell the definitive end of the nuclear family.”

“Humankind faces three fundamental choices in the years ahead: at least a partial restoration of traditional social values, a radical new eugenics, or endless and compounding population decline. For a long time, this choice may not be an either/or. Divisions will likely emerge both within and between societies on how to proceed. Some regions may grow more traditional, others may experiment with radical new social forms, while still others may continue to shrink. And a great deal will depend upon an economic future that no one can predict with certainty. In any case, the social innovations of the modern world are still being tested, and the outcome is unresolved.”

sesame street video supporting breastfeeding!

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