He who began a good work in you

Posted by: Sarah Trost in doctrine and Biblical truths, Sovereignty of God, Submission No Comments »

Breathing and blessing

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, doctrine and Biblical truths, Family, Sovereignty of God, stillbirth/pregnancy loss, Submission, Uncategorized No Comments »

Things are getting better. When you take a breath, you take in life, for without breath there is no life. Life is a gift. God is to be blessed for all His marvelous gifts, even when we don’t see a trial as a gift.

For most people, the death of a child causes such a strain that they divorce within a year. I don’t see that as happening with us. Our relationship is stronger then it has ever been. I feel that trials have worked much meekness in me, and I’m sure that helps! I’ve been enjoying Nancy Leigh Demoss’s series on Meekness. I find it so encouraging and hope that women really take the series to heart. Although, as she pointed out, you can’t become meek by will power! Meekness is, well, a gift worked out in you as you are buffed in the rock tumbler. Gems only become gems after a great deal of buffing!

So I inhale and exhale and bless God for my life, and the life of my son. No, he is not living here with me, but he does have life, and as the Scriptures say, life more abundantly! Praise God for His mercy and grace!

because I haven’t the strength

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, doctrine and Biblical truths, Family, QF, Sovereignty of God, stillbirth/pregnancy loss, Submission No Comments »

I keep wanting to update here but I just can’t seem to do it. So, I’ll let my husband do it for me. Here’s his blog
We all appreciate your prayers.


Oil of Joy for Mourning

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Family, QF, stillbirth/pregnancy loss, Submission, Uncategorized No Comments »

When I first started looking into having a VBAC it was at the urging of the Holy Spirit. I was concerned because my OBGYN had been insistent that I could never have a head down baby, I could never deliver a full term baby, and that most VBACs end in rupture and most ruptures end in dead babies and mommies. We prayed that God would heal my uterus, but healing never came. And instead the gentle prodding “What if I tell you to do this for me, even without the healing, would you?” I stammered my response but couldn’t shake this was from God, because it happened at the very moment that a previous prophetic dream was unfolding before my eyes in a dramatic situation at church. I knew that not only was this God, but that God was asking something of me I wasn’t willing to give. Myself. My baby. Crazy to think- because I’m quiverfull! But as the week progressed God changed my heart and I found myself giving up everything for Him. Although I now had faith, my approach was then turned to purely scientific- what is best for mom and baby? I felt strongly that I was being lead to research it, and as I read the studies and commentaries written by doctors such as Birth After Cesarean, I became heavily convicted that the VBAC IS the logical and, in comparison to multiple cesareans, SAFE choice.

But then as time passed I became excited at the opportunity to experience natural birth. I know, many women think that is silly as it
is painful and just a means to an end. But as a very natural- earthy person the idea of doing what my body is MEANT to do, to deliver in a way that it was created to function, was just so RIGHT. And the pursuit of natural birth literature and films consumed me.

Then I started reading books on the injustice of the medical system- the horrible things that drs do to their patients. Born in The USA, Pushed, The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth, and others. I was angry- angry that I was lead around so easily, convinced that the drs really had my best interests at heart. People say “as long as you have a healthy baby” but why is my baby’s life more important then mine? I’m not a feminist, but I think I’m pretty important too. And who’s to say that I had healthy babies simply because they were born via c-section? They were in the NICU, they couldn’t nurse, my oldest has a terrible gag reflex from the tube shoved down her throat. What kind of sensory or psychological damage do they have? Don’t they deserve a physically and emotionally healthy mom too? And what right did the drs have to do this to us?

I fell into Birthing From Within and it was the same as above, with horrible stories of injustice and pain. But there was more- there was hope. There was healing, but before healing begins the wounds must open. And that’s when I began to grieve. That’s when I stopped reading these stories as OTHER women’s stories, and realized that they were MY story.

That’s when I stopped saying “she was delivered at__weeks” and said “She was taken from me.” I stopped saying “my c-section” and said instead “They cut me.” For the first time, I remembered my experiences with all the raw truth of what really happened. No wonder I suffered from PTSD! and all this time I thought it was merely because I felt out of control,
but in truth I was positively abused!

The hurt and pain was strong and throbbing. The tears were hot. But the anger and grief and pain are all necessary, because true healing can’t begin until you recognize the truth in the situation. When you recognize what really happened, what your part in it was, and how it truly affected you, then you can begin the turning process.

The Bible says that God gives beauty from ashes, and this was the
beginning of that.

“To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for
ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit
of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the
planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.”—Isaiah 61:3.

So now begins the joy. I can have joy that even if I need another section, it will be because I actually need it and is something I have chosen, not something forced on me. It will be because it IS the best for mom and babe, not because it lessens the chance of the dr getting sued. And I can finally embrace the healing.


very interesting

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Submission, Today in the News No Comments »

I have debated to myself personally the ethics of wearing a wig AS a headcovering. In other words, my head is covered so I am following 1 Cor 11 and my hair is covered, thus I am being modest as only my husband sees my hair. I have a few problems with this. So, I looked it up on google and found this.

Apparently I’m not the only one questioning. And beyond that, some of the hair was harvested during Hindi temple rituals. Even the Jews would have to question that one (and they did!)

The Rabbinical council ruled the Indian made wigs are banned. Many women began covering in snoods and running to stores to buy synthetic wigs while burning those made in India. Some held onto the banned wigs “You have to hope whatever you have is good, otherwise you put a thousand dollars in the garbage,” said a woman named Mindy, who declined to give her last name for fear of what her father-in-law would think.

The issue had come up several years ago, said Rabbi Yisroel Belsky, a leading authority on Jewish law for the Orthodox Union in the United States, but was resolved without a ban. He said it appeared that practices in the Hindu temples where the hair of Indian women is cut might have changed, prompting the new ruling…One of the difficulties, he said, was discerning just what the Hindu hair-cutters had in their minds when they made their offerings, because that had a bearing on whether their acts were idolatrous.”

Ah, so it was OK then but wrong now just because of the changed ritual? I doubt it could have changed that much. And why in the world would the woman’s thoughts have anything to do with it? Sounds to me like he’s trying to justify sin. Or perhaps he profits from the wig business. Or he has a wife who likes her wigs and he likes his money and doesn’t want to part with thousands more dollars for new wigs.

“Mrs. Klein, 48, was picking out a new snood. She said she wanted to hear more from the rabbis before going back to her wigs. “I will be back in a wig once I know what the rulings are,” she said. Fortunately, she said, she did not have to go to Manhattan yesterday wearing the headgear.

“I would look funny,” she said. “One of the goals of modesty is to blend. When you wear a snood on the subway, you never blend.”

On a blog I read it was explained that Jewish women feel pressured to make their hair conform to the Disneyish beauty of society.

Now it comes down to the real reason- one of the big reasons I’m against the wigs in the first place. Vanity vanity all is vanity.


should women preach?

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Submission No Comments »

This also came up recently. My response on 1Tim 2:11-15 being interpreted that women should not preach when men are present.

“As far as teaching, I think it is BEST not to. I think if they
DO it must be while they are under the authority of their husband. I do
not approve of women like Paula White being pastors.

However, I have known of instances where women have preached being the
only one who would do it. Susanna Wesley, I believe it was, taught her
children at home and the people in town came to hear her teachings
because her husband was away and there was no pastor. She was not
having authority over them, but they were hungry to be taught (probably
couldn’t read or have a Bible.) Was it wrong for her to allow them to
listen to her teaching her children? No, I don’t believe it was.

But in the IDEAL situation, I believe there are plenty of men available
and they should do the teaching/preaching.”

Zip that lip!

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Submission No Comments »

The subject of women being silent in the church recently came up on a yahoogroup, taken from 1 Corinthians 15=4: 33-36.  A woman posted that she believes in following the Bible 100% and does not speak AT ALL in church (other then the occasional short reply to someone greeting her because she doesn’t want to appear rude.)  My response:

I do believe in looking at context Biblically as well as historically.
I know that people say that headcoverings were cultural but no longer,
so no longer are headcoverings required. This is clearly not correct,
so I do not want to use that reasoning here. It is certainly very
important to me that we are obedient to the Scriptures without making
excuses why we need not obey them. However, I do want to give a
description of the situation then. Men and women did not sit together
in the service, just as the Amish, orthodox Jews, Hindi Christians, and
many others still separate. Women did look to their husbands for
explanations and it is commonly explained that the women would holler at
their husband’s for clarification. This was a clear disruption in the
church. During the service it was inappropriate to discuss things. In
the churches I have been in the men and women sat together, so when my
husband and I have something to say, if it is inappropriate to whisper
we write it to each other, or make notes to discuss it later.

Bringing it back to Scriptural context, Paul said each Christian is
gifted with something to edify the body (discernment, healing, prophecy,
tongues, healing, ect.) He also said that when a woman prays or
prophesies she should have her head covered. I believe this means that
women were praying and prophesying in the body, but that they should
only do so IF covered, meaning under the authority of a male AS WELL AS
having the physical covering which showed to the body that she was under
submission. Ultimately it was she not having authority in the body, but
her husband/father or whoever as her “head.” She was UNDER their

.At least, this is one of the things I was taught and it
makes sense.

My mom does not believe in women having authority over men, teaching
men, preaching ect. However, the Lord started giving messages to the
church through her. They were in tongues with interpretation sometimes,
sometimes in English. My mom is very concerned about how others
perceive her and does not want to give messages as they were often an
exhortation to repentance. However, she was not about to tell God NO.
So she prophesied there in the congregation IN FRONT OF MEN. No, her
head was unfortunately not covered. But my dad was there, and he was in
agreement to what she did. She was not out of line.

Anyway, I believe that contextually this shows us that they DID speak.
But I can’t prove it and you’d just have to pray and talk to your
husband and come to your own beliefs.


My brief history in covering

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Family, Submission No Comments »

August/September: I knew some ladies online who cover and felt the
Spirit’s urging to research it. My husband and I researched it for over
a month and we decided that I was definitely supposed to cover for
prayer and prophesy and that the Bible does not specify it is only for
public prayer.

September 26: we left our church because of an issue surrounding my head
covering. My husband also talked with his mom about covering and
she wrote that the Holy Spirit gave her personal revelation that we are not to cover.

September 28: My husband sent me a link to a yahoogroup headcovering list and I joined.

September 30: my first time to wear a covering ‘in public’ meaning my
parents came over for communion and I was covered. My parents didn’t

October 1 : I posted this to the list
” This morning I took the girls to the YMCA in the kids area and I went to
the chapel. I had trouble praying and at some point I said, “Well,
Lord, I know I’m out of practice (I pray thruought the day but never
have time for alone prayer) but this is ridiculous!” I felt Him say
“You’re not covered.” Ah, He was right, in my hurry to get out the door
I neglected to remember that new but very important detail. I searched
through my bag and found a onsie. YEs, you read that right. I put a
baby shirt on my head. And you know what? It worked! I was
immediately attentive, the noises around me were not a bother, and I
felt God’s presence there with me. This wasn’t a new feeling, but I
have never felt so ‘instantly’ in prayer as I did at that moment. It
was pretty awesome. Even though (especially though!) I wore a small
white baby shirt on my bowed head. ”

October 5: Friday was my first day to cover all day. I found that I
pray so often that covering ONLY when praying was inconvenient and it
was so much more practical to stay covered. I thought I would feel self
conscious when I ran errands that day but I didn’t- it felt so right to
be covered! I bought two temporary head kerchiefs at a resale shop and
am still wearing those for now. My husband was a little surprised with
my new ‘look’ I think. But, he has been very tender and sweet and,
well, more loving and honoring, since I have been covering full time.
It’s really amazing and I hope it doesn’t wear off!

October 6: Saturday we went to dinner at my parents and had a very
stressful conversation with my mom. She wanted to know why my head was
covered and proceeded to tell me how 1)unbiblical it was 2) women who
are covered are in bondage 3) women who cover are ‘holier then thou’ She
said other things too, but that was the base of her argument.

October 7: Yesterday we drove to Houston to visit a messianic store that
carries Tallits and scarves. The tallits were beautiful but cost too
much. They scarves weren’t what I was looking for. However, the
conversation I had with the couple who own the store was wonderful.
Apparently other newly convicted women have also been coming in for
scarves. This is a big movement from God, I believe. The woman was so
encouraging. She said they were unable to find good, fundamental
conservative churches who accepted her covering other then the Messianic
congregations, and they couldn’t find one nearby that taught the Bible
in addition to all the traditions. They used to be members of the one
that I was looking into but left because the Rabbi refused to really
teach the people and because they focus on the Jewish members and prefer
to ignore the gentiles (What I also found in my conversations with the
Rabbi’s wife via email.)

So, they started their own church, right there in their store. And now
the ladies who have joined also cover their heads. This seemed to be
confirmation that my husband might be going in the right direction in
considering started a church. We are in deep prayer over this issue.


Godly character

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Home, Sovereignty of God, Submission No Comments »

The forward:
Sometimes we wonder, “What did I do to deserve this?”
or “Why did God have to do this to me?” Here is a
wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her
Mother how everything is going wrong, she’s failing
algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best
friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her
daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter
says, “Absolutely Mom, I love your cake”

“Here, have some cooking oil,” her Mother offers.

“Yuck” says her daughter.
“How about a couple raw eggs?” “Gross, Mom!”
“Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking

“Mom, those are all yucky!”

To which the mother replies: “Yes, all those things
seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put
together in the right way, they make a wonderfully
delic ious cake! ”

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He
would let us go through such bad and difficult times.
But God knows that when He puts these things all in
His order, they always work for good! We just have to
trust Him and, eventually, they will all make
something wonderful!

I was thinking along those lines this morning when I got out my mop and it broke upon first stroke. So, I got down on my hands and knees to scrub. Believe me, spending an hour sweeping and handwashing my floor was like baking soda and cooking oil!
I was on a local talk show a couple of times when I was a teenager. One of those times I was asked to explain to another teen why she must go to school (her mother was being threatened with jail time and fines because of her daughter’s truancy.) Well, this wasn’t an expected question and I wasn’t sure what I should say. A quick prayer and I opened my mouth and said

“It builds character.” Her face was blank, the talk show host wasn’t sure what to make of it either. I don’t think I made a convincing argument. Looking back at it, though, that was a great reason. There are things in our lives that are VERY unpleasant and even when we see NO REASON and NOTHING GOOD from these events, they still build character. Christians and nonChristians alike value character. As Christian ladies, though, good character can equal wisdom, good decisions, and an opportunity to be a good witness.
Lord, build in me a Godly character!!

my first covering experiences

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Submission No Comments »

Sunday we had my parents over for communion. Mom did not comment on my scarf, even though it kept falling off and I kept putting it back on. When discussing the
church issue she was also careful to avoid the specific subject of the issue, so I think my dad must have told her and she was just careful not to bring it up. So, she just abstained from comments. That’s certainly better then complaining! Although, she did complain about lots of other stuff…..

We sang some songs (my fingers are sore now, I’m not used to playing the
guitar for so long anymore) and Paul read Scripture and then we had communion.

It was, in all, a very nice time.
Monday morning I took the girls to the YMCA in the kids area and I went to
the chapel. I had trouble praying and at some point I said, “Well,
Lord, I know I’m out of practice (I pray thruought the day but never
have time for alone prayer) but this is ridiculous!” I felt Him say
“You’re not covered.” Ah, He was right, in my hurry to get out the door
I neglected to remember that new but very important detail. I searched
through my bag and found a onsie. Yes, you read that right. I put a
baby shirt on my head. And you know what? It worked! I was
immediately attentive, the noises around me were not a bother, and I
felt God’s presence there with me. This wasn’t a new feeling, but I
have never felt so ‘instantly’ in prayer as I did at that moment. It
was pretty awesome. Even though (especially though!) I wore a small
white baby shirt on my bowed head.

Bless and be blessed,

The offending posts

Posted by: Sarah Trost in church, Submission No Comments »

These are the posts that caused such a problem at the church. I find neither to be divisive or unscriptural in message or delivery. The first:

I have several bloggs I need to write based on questions I’ve been
asked recently, and one of them is on submission. I’m interested in
reading all your views on submission (to authority, both to your
husband as well as to others such as a pastor or government.) IF I
particularly like something someone says I may email you and ask
permission to quote you. 🙂

The second (modified from original posting here, which was quickly deleted from the site)

Paul and I have been researching head coverings for the last month and
a half or so. We have come to the conclusion that we believe it is
Scriptural. I mention this primarily because, well, you will be
seeing an awful lot of me with my head covered and will probably
wonder why. 🙂 So, here are some links that Paul enjoyed and I’m
passing them on for you to possibly read and consider. I have not
read them in their entirety, by the way.

http://www.kingshou se.org/headcover ing.htm
http://www.biblical researchreports. com/headcovering myths.php
http://www.bible- researcher. com/headcovering s3.html

When I first met some protestants who head cover I was surprised,
since I had been taught that was cultish and not Biblical. But, I
felt a check in my spirit that this was something that I should look
into and Paul decided to research with me. After a lot of reading and
praying concerning the matter, we are in agreement that this is
something I should do.

Paul hasn’t yet decided how often or what kind of covering he wants me
to wear, but I am certain it will be AT LEAST at church. I am
thankful to know that I will have the support of the women here, in as
much that you agree with submission and are used to being different
then the norm in Christian circles anyway!

I hope everyone has a wonderful week,

It’s official

Posted by: Sarah Trost in church, doctrine and Biblical truths, Sovereignty of God, Submission No Comments »

We are a cult. No, not really, but I think most of the Christian world would say so.

We did leave what appeared to be a very good church based on the unwillingness to conform to a church practice of women not speaking to each other concerning doctrine and Scripture. Although it is claimed that is permitted, the restriction is that the woman must first speak to the husband. I, of course, am a firm believer in taking counsel from the husband and being in complete submission to him. However, women should also be allowed to discuss with each other and to say “Oh, I can’t discuss that matter with you because I have not yet spoken with my husband” is just plain ludicrous. There is no Scripture backing this. Following such a discussion the certainly should talk to their husbands, but supposedly we are easily tossed to and fro and bringing new ideas in the home would sow dischord. Well, if I had not brought foreign ideas to the home we would not have known about covering or being quiverfull, that’s for sure.

Our lives have changed so much in the last three months.

In looking for a church we are unable to find something nearby. After all, we are quiverfull, homeschooling, sovereign grace, spirit filled, head covered and autistic! Who could possibly want us at their church?

Paul started a blog on our church experiences. He begins it as the beginning of a kind of journey, but we will also post some negative and positive church experiences we have had in the past. What will the Lord do with us now? I don’t know, but I look forward to finding out!


update on headcoverings

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Submission No Comments »

I made waves without even realizing it. I will be wearing a headcovering on Sunday and thought I should email the ladies at church and let them know that I would and if they have questions they can refer to these sites and discuss with their husbands. The pastor deleted my post from the group and posted that it was inapropriate for me to discuss doctrine and that we are not to discuss the issue. I am so irritated, angry, sad….

It looks like we’re leaving the church. Why is it so hard to find a good church? We finally found a spirit filled sovereign grace quivefull homeschooling church but telling me I may not speak on Scripture or doctrine is a deal breaker. That’s like telling a dog to stop wagging his tail and that he must purr!



covering my head

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Submission No Comments »

When we first started talking about headcoverings I was very curious. I had never known anyone to cover their head, although I knew that some sects still do (Amish, Jewish, Catholic, ect.) It surprised me that protestant Christians were covering their heads, so I dove into research.

When DH came home I talked to him about it and he gave the typical response that it was customary of the day but a woman’s long hair was given as her covering. I said “Yes, that’s what I was raised with -when my parents married my dad told my mom she must cover her head but she refused based on that argument. However, there are Christians who still cover their heads and I am out to prove definitely that I should do one or the other, and not relying on what my mom or most of the rest of the church says. Interested, Paul started looking at things as well.

I read some very convincing things that made complete sense. Even more important, as I read these things and looked at head coverings, I felt an urgency in my spirit- an assurance and an excitement that this IS what I am to do. My husband hadn’t made any decision on it and I did not want to be DISHONORING to him by wearing it if he didn’t agree (that would defeat the purpose.) So every Saturday I ask if he wants me to cover my head and he says no, but without much conviction because he had still not found anything to explain the verse that says that if any man be contentious there is no such custom.

Until last night.

Last night he found an excellent site and it made total sense. It explained all the other things we had already found and then when it came to that verse it was explained that that verse is not saying that we don’t have the custom of covering heads, neither does the churches of God, but that we don’t have the custom of being contentious over these teachings. aha! That would explain why Paul is spending so many verses teaching something and then saying at the end the churches of God have no custom……OF ARGUING ABOUT BIBLICAL TRUTHS/VALUES! And it all fell into place.

So, he still has not decided what he wants me to wear but I’m sure next Sunday I’ll be wearing SOMETHING, even if it’s one of my hats. I have always loved hats and used to wear them to church and then with the arrival of children I lost my sense of style altogether and stopped wearing my hats. He said he definitely does not want me wearing the Amish cap with the two poofs, that it looks like you have a bra on your head. LOL I love vintage hats, so I’ll probably get a hat at a local antique shop. Perhaps I’ll get a Jewish veil. We’ll see. Paul is leaning towards that all my hair should be covered, which would limit what kinds of coverings I can wear.


being a housewife

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Being Mommy, Home, Homeschooling, Submission No Comments »

Great article from John Calvin on being a housewife!

And if men say, “What is this? A woman playeth the housewife, she spinneth on her distaff, and this is all that women can do.” As in deed there are a number of fools that when they speak of women’s distaffs, of seeing to their children, will make a scorn of it, and despise it. But what then? What saith the heavenly Judge? That he is well pleased with it, and accepteth of it, and putteth it in his reckoning. So then let women learn to rejoice when they do their duty, and though the world despise it, let this comfort sweeten all respect they might have that way, and say, “God seeth me here, and his Angels, who are sufficient witnesses of my doings, although the world do not allow of them.”

men who love their wives

Posted by: Sarah Trost in Submission No Comments »

And the women who submit to them.

This is the first installment of a series on submission. I was asked what my beliefs on submission are, and so I decided to research a bit before just sitting down and writing what I thought. After all, beliefs do change and although (hopefully) they have a purely Scriptural base, I find that others’ opinions may alter what I believe the Scripture actually says. Of course, then I bounce ideas off my husband’s very knowledgeable but still learning mind, and then my thoughts may change again!

Yes, this is written in response to a question I was asked, but this is actually something I have pondered since, well, since my early teens. My parents modeled a husband/wife relationship and then I was left trying to decide wither it was done properly. It. What is it? It refers to submission, loving the wife as Christ loves the church, and the whole marriage partnership in general. That’s a lot to take in, particularly when there isn’t much teaching in the church on it and you are so young.

Why is there not teaching on such an important topic? Well, I think men are afraid of it. Not all men, certainly. If you google there are plenty of articles and resources on this topic. But I think that the feminist movement has so impacted the church as it is today that most pastors will not stand up and preach on submission, even if they believe in it. Likewise, you don’t hear much about loving your wives, either.

“The 5 Love Languages” was very popular sometime back. Throughout my marriage I have sought to discover my husband’s love language so I can show him how much I love him in the way that he can receive it. However, I cannot figure out what his love language is. He doesn’t do ANY of those things. Not on a consistent basis. Why not? This is something I have asked my self occasionally and the only answer I have found is that it is because he DOESN’T love me. Not that I really believe that. I think if he didn’t love me he wouldn’t still be with me. I am, after all, a very difficult person to live with. I am autistic, stubborn, a slob, and sometimes even destructive (to my self and to others.) But, perhaps he just doesn’t know how to SHOW he loves someone. He’s never been taught.

My first link on submission is found above in the first line. It delves into the typology of marriage. Typology was one of my favorite studies while in college. Click on it. Read it. Consider it. Tell me what you think.